Friday, March 26, 2010
I've Realized Now
Ella
I've realized how much i have hurt you.. i understand ur feelings.. you don want me to get close with another guy frend becos u are afraid of losing me.. u get jealous and feel very insecure even if i tell u that i'm always yours.. at the same time, u are tired of fighting with me and makes me feel that u are controlling me and maybe u hate seeing me upset over this and u let go of this relationship..
I'm sorry for being selfish.. i was giving in to my emotions.. both of us are giving in to our emotions.. i really wish to turn back in time ag.. i miss you so much.. i feel so cold by the way you text me.. even a friend msg me much more warm than yourself.. i don know if you're still feeling awkward or not.. i hope everything goes alright for us.. we don't know if we are meant for each other.. i know i still love you.. i know i want you to be with me again in the future.. but u will let me know when you feel if we are meant for each other.. that hurts my heart so much.. i'm here still loving you but i don know how you feel now.. i'm here hoping everyday, we will be better but turns out to be more painful.. whenever i received your msg, i hold bck my tears but every nite, i cried in my sleep.. i feel so restless everyday..
probably u never read this blog anymore.. i'm going thru so much pain.. i may look strong on the outside, but i'm breaking into pieces inside.. u hurt me twice.. firstly, u lied to me for having a gf.. u promised not to break it ag.. and this is the 2nd time u break it.. i gave my heart to u and this is wat i have in return..
i need a hand that fits in with mine and a heart to understand~
"Love isn’t him calming you down when you yell. It’s
him yelling, just as loud, just as hard, right back at you, right in
your face to wake you up and keep you grounded. It isn’t him bringing
you roses everyday or cute things that make your relationship appear
more presentable. It’s after a long fight, that drains the l...ife and
bones out of both of you, and yet him showing up at your door the next
morning anyway. It’s not him saying all the right things or knowing
exactly how to handle you. It’s not him caressing your hair and telling
you everything is going to be alright. It’s him standing there,
admitting he’s just as scared as you are. You have to remember that with
love, you’re not the only one involved. You’ve unknowingly put your
life, your heart into the palms of another person’s hands and said,
“Here. Do what you will. Mash it into mince meat, or forget I ever
handed it to you.- Faceboook User"
I think above phrase is very true.,.. i've never realized what i have done to u.. i regret of losing u~ if i ever get that 2nd chance to be with u ag, i don want to let go of u anymore.. that 2nd chance will depends on how u feel.. i'll respect ur decision and i'll move on... i feel more pain being apart from u every single day.. i cried my hearts out till i cant breathe..
I was reborn when you first kissed me.
Part of me died when you left me.
But now I still live,
waiting for the day you return to me.
You're the most important thing to me now.
The most important thing to me ever.
21:58
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It has been a few years together now.
I'm really look forward to the future with you.
- Ella
=) 
